I usually prefer that new clients have a "provider reference". Namely, that they can provide me with contact details for a domme or transsexual (the provider) that they have seen recently (during the past year or two), and some kind of biographical information that will help that provider remember them. I can then call or email the provider concerned and get a reference - whether the potential client is reliable and safe etc.

This system works pretty well. And while it can seem onerous to some clients, most recognize it as being beneficial to both parties - helping me and them ensure that there is a good match of interests, neither of us is law enforcement (not a big deal in San Francisco but still), and that neither of us is abusive or a rip-off. And it is symmetrical - sometimes I provide references to other providers for clients I have seen.

But this all breaks down where clients are really "new". Either they have never seen a provider before (fresh meat!!) or they haven't seen one for quite a few years - which means that either the last provider is no longer around and/or that the last provider cannot reasonably be expected to remember the client.

So what to do in those situations? Well, the easiest thing to do would be to avoid those clients. After all, I only see a few clients a week, and can happily pass on clients that are too much trouble (whatever that means). But lately, I have had quite a few potential clients in this situation, and talking it over with a friend and colleague who is also in the business, she suggested that I try the coffee-date-get-to-know-you approach.

This can work multiple ways. But last week I did two successive versions of this with two new clients. And I am glad I did.

How it worked last week is that I met the potential client for coffee an hour before the booked session, at a coffee shop not far from the booked play space (at Shibari Magic 7). I required the client to pay $50 for my time for the interview - with the incentive that, if they passed, we would then repair to the play space for the session.

But what questions to ask for the interview? As my friend and colleague advised, there aren't really any fail-safe questions. In the end, one is starting a conversation / asking for vague personal data, while really looking for how the client reacts and how you feel about them. Some clients are creepy. But they give themselves away very quickly.

In these cases, I was very glad that I went the extra mile with these two clients - which as it happens was on the same day. Both were very sweet, very respectful, very submissive, and very interested in what I have to offer. And that was very clear, very quickly. And in both cases we then diverted to Shibari Magic 7 and had a rather wonderful time. I hope they come back... I think they will...

Ms Emilie